Same Thing Over Again.

Posted: September 29, 2013 by yodadore in general
Tags: , , ,

Here is my dialogue for the challenge. Criticism and other comments are welcome.

“So, how is your health?” a distant relative asked in Turkish.

“Well, I’m going to dialysis-”

“Oh my! I’m so sorry, I really hope you get better.” my forty-something-year-old cousin interrupted, her sad tone making me want to explain.

“It’s not actually that bad,” I stated so she wouldn’t feel guilty, but it seemed to only make it worse.

“You are such a brave girl.” She whispered, ignoring what I just said, causing me to sigh.

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Comments
  1. INC says:

    I have now read this a couple of times, and what I realy like about it is the way it conveys your frustration at how people around you respond when they hear what your treatment is, rather than listening to what you say about it.
    You succeed admirably in conveying without spelling things out.
    Well done.

  2. inned says:

    i have read this and thought it was really good, you showed how other people react when you tell them what you do.

  3. hi says:

    I enjoyed the dialogue as It sounded realistic, because it showed how others would response and react when they hear about the treatment.
    hi

  4. hi says:

    I think you should word the introduction of the relatives name.

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