New Descriptive 100 Word Writing Challenge: Autumn

Posted: September 9, 2013 by INC in 100 Word challenge, creative writing
Tags: ,

There is a poem by the surgeon turned poet John Keats about autumn that you can read here.

In it, he describes autumn in the countryside when the fruit trees are laden, the air is filled with bees, and the days are warm.

Your idea of autumn might be entirely different; return to school, swapping sandals and bare feet for shoes and socks, football matches…

Write a descriptive passage of 100 words about autumn and post it in a comments box here. Try to include sights, sounds, smells, textures, temperature.

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Comments
  1. H I says:

    It’s that time of year again, the season people cry of relief after spending time in the scorching sun. Whereas for others, it is a disappointment as they put away the sun cream. As the autumn arrives, so do the warmth and crisp days spent by the fire place. The aroma of hot chocolate fills the air. The colourful leaves fill the outdoors. No sounds of cheerful children outside, as they wrap warm like hedgehogs. People hog tight to their coats which is like a shield of protection as they move from one destination to another after a days work.

    • INC says:

      Nice work HI.
      You followed the guidelines well and I think this piece is the stronger for it.
      Do you have a favourite sentence? Perhaps you could pick it out, choose a favourite line from Keats’ poem and compare the two.

  2. sucram says:

    Autumn
    And bright a time before,
    Silky plus orange were the sights of
    The leaves as our time first began.

    Breezy, dark and dull
    Was the sight and sound
    I thought of when today
    Was also my only day to touch some
    Golden Leaves.
    Now my last hope it spot a
    Dark Brown Tree.

  3. yodadore says:

    My Typical Day In Autumn.

    I shut the metallic grey car’s door, and I glanced up at the cloudy, depressing sky. “That’s London for you,” I thought before walking towards home with my mum.

    When I -finally- settled down onto my single bed, I wrapped the blanket around me as I shivered, the hairs on my skin standing.

    As food was ready hours later, mum placed the bowl in front of me and a delicious scent filled my nose. I thanked my mother and took a spoonful of the noodle soup, tasting the appetising meal, then went back to watching Kitchen Nightmares on my iPad.

    • INC says:

      Well done Yodadore. This is much clearer than your first draft and hangs together better. It has a strong opening, but I think you could rearrange the rest to make it flow more readily.
      Look at it again(!) and see if you can make the writing a little tighter. We can look at it together.

      • yodadore says:

        My final version of the writing.

        I shut the grey car’s door, and I glanced up at the cloudy, depressing sky. “That’s London for you,” I thought before walking towards home with my mum.

        When I settled down onto my single bed, I wrapped the blanket around me as I shivered, the hairs on my skin standing.

        As food was ready hours later, mum placed the bowl in front of me and a delicious scent filled my nose. I took a spoonful of the noodle soup and felt the hotness run down my throat while I consumed it, sighing as the warmth streamed through my body.

      • INC says:

        Ask yourself these editing questions:
        para two:
        what does when at start of the sentence add? is single a necessary adjective here?
        could you rearrange the rest of the sentence to make it flow better? eg: I shivered, the hairs on my skin standing. I wrapped the balnket around me.
        para three:
        what work is As doing at the start of the sentence? If you deleted it, and a few words that follow it, would it alter the meaning of the sentence?
        how about Hours later, Mum placed a bowl in front of me and a delicious scent filled my nose etc

        Your feedback?

  4. Hi says:

    Yodadore a very nice well detailed piece of descriptive writing I enjoyed the depth of your writing It was strong enough for me to visualise the images that you were putting across for your readers.

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