100 word challenge

Posted: March 14, 2012 by hbl010 in Pupil
Tags: ,

This week’s challenge is …

To use the five words below and put them into your story. Your allowed to use 100 words plus the five. So altogether, you get to use 105 words 🙂

Carefully, spider, white, fifty, pushed.

Good luck!

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Comments
  1. hbl010 says:

    It was a Thursday afternoon and I was stuck at home. “When will this rain stop?” I asked myself. As I stared out, I could see a spider climbing across the window. This was no ordinary spider, it was white. “Mum!” I screamed. Mum ran upstairs to see what was the matter. “Get rid of it!” I exclaimed. I pushed her towards the window. “I can’t do it! Im afraid of spiders, Im fifty now, I could have a heart attack!” replied mum as she nervously placed a cup above the spider. As she moved her hand away she dropped it. I ran out the room. There was no way I was going back in there tonight.

    • INC says:

      So where did you sleep?
      Your poor mother, having to deal with the spider. 🙂
      I like the way you have looked for alternatives to using said, but I am not sure that exclaimed works in that sentence. Try thinking of other words that get across your feeling of panic. You have already used screamed, but something along those lines would work better.
      Look at your punctuation; check for consistency in time, and remember Mum is a proper noun when you are using it as your mother’s name.

  2. Dumbledore says:

    Scared Jason….

    While Tony was getting pepsi from the fridge,
    he heard a piercing scream coming from the living room.
    He ran thinking there was a murderer attacking his dear friend
    Jason. But to see him standing on the white couch, looking terrified.

    “What happened Jason?!” Tony exclaimed.

    “Sp-sp-SPIDER!!” Yelled Jason.

    Tony looked at the maple floor to see a spider, size of a hazelnut.

    “Really Jason? You’re afraid of a tiny spider?” Tony asked.

    Jason replied, “Just put it out side.”

    Tony carefully pushed the spider towards the door.

    “Thanks man,” whispered Jason.

    “You owe me fifty cents,” Tony smirked, looking rather amused.

    • INC says:

      This made me smile, Dunmbledore. I also think these two characters could be fun to develop and to include in a longer story.
      Again, check your punctuation, look at where you have used capital letters unnecessarily.
      I have just read it again, and agin it has made me smile.:) Good work!

    • hbl010 says:

      I really enjoyed this story and found this very funny.
      There are a couple of capital letters in places where they shouldn’t be but apart from that I think this story is very well written.
      .

  3. hbl010 says:

    It was a Thursday afternoon and I was stuck at home. “When will this rain stop?” I asked myself. As I stared out, I saw a spider climbing across the window. This was no ordinary spider, it was white. “Mum!” I screamed. Mum ran upstairs to see what was the matter. “Get rid of it!” I shouted. I pushed her towards the window. “I can’t do it! I’m afraid of spiders, I’m fifty now, I could have a heart attack!” replied Mum, nervously placing a cup above the spider. As she moved her hand away she dropped it. I ran out the room.

  4. JDB says:

    The Duck in the Truck

    It was a lovely sunny day and Bill woke up next to his wife Betty. They then woke up their son Stan and asked him to get dressed as he had a job with his dad. Betty said to Bill, you have got to deliver hay to South Farm. They slowly went downstairs wiping the sleep out of their eyes to have breakfast of toast and eggs. Betty said that was the last of the eggs as the fox ate the chicken.

    Bill and Stan got in the truck and headed off towards South Farm. When they got to the farm, Bill knocked on the door and said he had a delivery of hay for them. Stan wandered around the farm and spotted the duck. He remembered that the fox had eaten their chicken and their family was out of eggs. So he slowly picked up the duck and quickly placed her in the truck so nobody would see her. The weather changed for the worse. It rained so hard the rain was like hailstones with thunder and lightening.

    When they got home, Stan showed Betty the duck. She was overjoyed because they would have eggs again and she named the duck Barbara.
    JDB

    • INC says:

      I just love this story. It starts off setting the scene so well and then evolves nicely. Barbara is such a windfall name for a duck!
      It should be a post in its own right. We can do that tomorrow and add the pictures too.
      Well done JDB!

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