the slums victorian times

Posted: January 23, 2012 by ROH in poetry, Pupil
Tags: , ,

Talking to the people asking about the dying man
Every other day a person is dying
That’s when a mother starts crying
Shouting but shivering on the
Street sweeping and weeping
Late in the evening the life that i live now is not what i expected
Moments in my life i want to be the man that was dying
Living in the slums is the life i wanted to live

  1. roo says:

    i think u ment in the last line is the life i didnt want to live

  2. INC says:

    I agree with roo. That last line confused me!
    Otherewise, I thought it was a very good piece of writing. I particularly liked your use of alliteration. Well done.

  3. ROH says:

    I did enjoy your piece of work a lot the only [problem was that there was a lack of punctuation and full stops but other than that I did enjoy your work a lot. Keep up the good job 🙂

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