It was a family affair take two

Posted: September 29, 2010 by ROH in general, news, ROH, Schoolwork
Tags: , , ,

David Miliband refused to comment after losing to his younger brother Ed Miliband in a knife edge victory as the new head of the Labour party he only took lead in the last 24 hours
David Miliband who is know the shadow foreign secretary said the next day “this is not a conference about me, it’s a conference about Ed’s leadership of the party, “he told sky news when he was asked why it was taking so long for him to say whether he would serve in the shadow cabinet, he replied “I arrived here on Saturday planning a slightly different week”
David Miliband was the favourite to win at the start of the campaign was beaten by Ed Miliband in May at 1.3% of the vote. Just hours away from when the final amusement was made.
Labour MP voted on who would be elected and what precision they would take at least 46 Mp’s confirmed id that they would stand.
It went from 46 MP’s two a two manned race and ended with tow brothers fighting for the same position but only one could get the place David was the favoured brother to win. But Ed won out of the two. Both brothers seam to be happy for one and other but only time will tell weather this will persist in the future.

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Comments
  1. ROH says:

    I have changed a few things on this version and hope it reads more easaly and I would love to hear any comments on the pice of work 🙂

  2. evelinasec says:

    How would I know from the first sentence what David had lost? It could be a game of tennis, or Monopoly!
    You need to make the context clear from the beginning.
    Good use of quotes; I especially like the one about him anticipating a different week.
    There are a few typos that you need to check and correct.
    I was a bit disorientated by this sentence. did you mean amusement or announcement?
    ‘Just hours away from when the final amusement was made.’
    I know this sounds like a lot of negative criticism, but you do have the basis of a good piece here and it is worth working on. So take heart.

  3. Aleunam says:

    An informative summary – once again, I can hear your own voice through this, which makes it clear it is not just a regurgitation of things you have read in the news. How about reviewing this now, a few days later, to see if you can improve the punctuation.

  4. evelinasec says:

    Take note ROH, that’s two of us waiting for your revisions now!

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